Parenthood

After almost 5 weeks of having Andrew gone I am wore out!! Today was one of those days that everything pushed my buttons. It seems the more frustrated I got though I just created more problems for myself.

After the gym this morning the kids and I went to subway. I was in a hurry trying to get the kids food out and cut in half while Lexie is grabbing for stuff. Well I went to unroll my sandwich and the dang thing rolled rite out in the floor. I was so hungry. I didn't know what to do. Should I ask for another sandwich? It wasn't there fault that in my rush I did that.
Then tonight I felt like I just went from cleaning one mess to the next.

I seriously don't know how these military wives up here do it. A friend text me tonight to vent a little. She has four at home. She was trying to do homework with them, dinner, baths and everything all by herself for months on end.

Parenthood is tough!!! With people having to move away from their families and not getting any help from family it just makes it harder. I don't know how anyone can juggle more than two children these days without a nanny or some type of continuous help. Then there is the added pressure to have your child in every sport and activity. Who has time for dance, soccer, gymnastics, track, basketball, piano etc... for a bunch of kids! I see moms who do it, but lets face it they look like crap! They are sleep deprived and run ragged!
I don't want to be the mom who is constantly exhausted and over whelmed by so much. I don't want my kids to feel like they can't have all of me. I want them to have 100% of mom at her best. Not what's leftover after a crappy day at work.
Yikes! This world is hard enough as it is. Kids grow so fast. I want them to have great memories of their mom. I know Andrew and I made the very best decision for our kids by choosing for me to be a stay at home mom.
Our kids have missed daddy so much these last few weeks. They have cried so much when I have to go do a Pampered Chef show. I couldn't imagine how they would feel If I had a 40 hour a week job. I know people say they get used to it, but is that really what I want my kids used to?

My mind has been spinning a lot lately. We have talked some about me going back to school. As much as I think it would be great I know it would NOT be best for my family. Do I really want to put that financial burden on my family to maybe make it back later. With this economy no job is for sure. It's not even just that. Do I want to go to school during the day then spend the evenings trying to read, write papers, clean, cook, spend quality time with my kids and husband (that does not mean in front I the TV) etc.... I don't see how it could be beneficial to anyone! If I wait till they are in school then that means in the evening I will be trying to help them with their homework, cook dinner, baths and then My homework. So if I decide to do one class at a time then that's not much help either. It would take me 6 or more years to finish school. No way we twist it does it make since for me to go back to school. At least,not in the near future.

Rite now the biggest contribution I can make to my family is by raising our kids and being the best mom to our children. It's not about me. It's about my kids and their needs come first!

That's my little rant. I'll step down off my soap box now. I am not going to worry about keeping up with the Jones's. I'm just going to be the best mom I can be and a good quality one who isn't overwhelmed! I mean my kids and husband deserve the very best so I'm gonna strive to be the best for them not for everyone else.